Mud Puddles & Love ... Say What?
By Cindy Reinhardt, MCC
& MMC guest master coach (7/23/13) & guest blogger
 
"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge."
~Thomas Carlyle

The snow melt continues as temperatures rise and the promise of Spring looms on the horizon here in the Colorado Rockies. The messiness of the mud and slush seem as metaphors for the messiness of creating, whether a new life, a new approach to a community concern, a new world or all of these.
 
What can I learn about the power of love from the muddy puddles that appear, grow in size and numbers, and change each day? How might this guide me in creating my life and us in creating our world?
 
I'm learning that practicing love is messy and paradoxical and that I can allow the messiness. I'm learning not to ignore it, to clean it up too fast, to put it out of sight and out of mind and go back to old habits favored by the world. In my willingness to be messy perhaps I can glimpse a new possibility, maybe (re)learning (from my four-legged friend Luke or a small child) the sheer joy of splashing in the mud and the creative spark that may follow.
 
Perhaps I can come to deeply (and therefore consistently) see that the chaos in life and the problems facing humanity and the planet are opportunities for us to splash with joy, to experiment with new approaches in the mud of chaotic times. Perhaps I can embrace fully the opportunities for growth, for inventiveness, and for creativity, both personally and collectively, that what we call and experience as problems represent.
 
Perhaps splashing in the mud will remind me that the power of love is the sole Universal power that - when we practice it - changes everything. As I tap into this knowing, this wisdom of the ages I see the power of love to heal, to protect, to soften, to connect and most of all to create - a different life and a different world for us all.
 
Whether in my own little microcosm of choosing how I will respond to an event (or reacting without making a conscious choice), or in the greater macrocosm of the planet, collectively choosing how we address human and environmental concerns, may love be our answer. May I/we know and be love in every situation we face, especially those that seem to threaten the self-love required to act from love.
 
As you glide or slog through the week ahead may you see love in nature, in art, and in every person and event that crosses your path. And, may you return that love with a knowing that, no matter what the experience, with love everything changes.
 
Experiment for the Week:  Notice where love is present in your life, from the inside out and the outside in. Embrace it. Be grateful.

copyright @Cindy Reinhardt 2014

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Cindy Reinhardt is a pioneer in the coaching profession, is a Master Certified Coach (MCC), Newfield Certified Ontological Coach (NCOC) and Energy Leadership-Master Practitioner (ELI_MP).

Cindy brings more than 30 years of management and business experience in both public and private organizations to being a catalyst for change, results, and growth

She has been an active member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), serving on the Board of Directors (1996-2000), annual conference chair (1998 & 1999), and the accreditation team (2000-2012).

Since 1992 Cindy has challenged hundreds of clients and workshop participants into action to live with more effectiveness and satisfaction given that one without the other is insufficient.

www.successzone.com

When We Automatically Make Ourselves Right and Others Wrong
By Patricia Hirsch NCOC, MCC
MMC guest master coach on 1/22/14 & blogger
 

Don’t ask me why this is so but ask me how you can begin to observe how you yourself are a part of all of it.

If we begin to question why this is so, we go down the rabbit hole of attempting to understand. We could make up fabulous stories that might answer why, but to understand is not to take action. To understand is to answer the question “why?”  That in itself is not wrong; but neither is it right.

The power lies in beginning to notice how we are “thrown” to do it. To be thrown is to follow a path without diversion; much like a ball thrown across the room in a direction where the path is not diverted unless it comes into contact with something to alter its course.

Throw:

• To put (suddenly or forcefully) into a given condition, position, or activity (thefreedictionary.com)
• To put in a particular position or condition (merriam-webster.com)
• An act or instance of throwing or casting; cast; fling (dictionary.reference.com)

You get the idea, right? …or wrong?

To alter the course of making ourselves right and others wrong takes “coming into contact with something” (a declaration?) to alter the course of our conversations. It takes beginning to notice when we automatically come up with an excuse or a retort or a reason or anger or fear or…

To alter the course of making others wrong may be the beginning of creating a fresh or new relationship with someone; your spouse, or your parents, or your boss, or your co-worker, or the cop who stopped you or…

To alter the course of making ourselves right may be the beginning of creating a brand new relationship with ourselves. To begin to be authentic with who we are being for ourselves. To begin to live from integrity.

To alter the course of that automatic right/wrong conversation, we may begin to recognize “what’s so.”  What the truth is of who we are being for ourselves in this moment in time. That “this is it” and where we are in our lives right now begins with the choice we make right now.

That to alter the course of being “thrown” on that automatic path of right and wrong along with all the other automatic right and wrong conversationalists, may just provide us the opportunity to begin afresh to design a new story worth living into.

The first step to shifting from a way of being that is not working is to begin to observe our own conversations of “automatically making ourselves right and others wrong.”

The second step is to stop ourselves in the middle of it.

The third is to stop ourselves before it happens.

The fourth step is to remember that we used to speak from those automatic and often detrimental to living joyfully conversations of “I am right and you are wrong.”

Will you take a first step with me?

Copyright 2013 Patricia Hirsch

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Patricia Hirsch is the founder and President of Design Your Life Coaching (est. 2001), a professional coaching and leadership development company, coaching globally as an Executive Personal Coach. Through individual and group coaching, she has worked extensively to facilitate relationships across cultural, educational, emotional and other discourses with a focus on senior executives, board members, teams and individuals.

Patricia’s coaching and leadership development ontological methodology is grounded in somatic, linguistic and emotional competence.  She draws on each of these domains in her work with clients to raise awareness, enable action and generate sustainable and high levels of performance.

During the past 30 years, she has held numerous mentoring, leadership and management positions. She remains active on rosters for high impact change organizations, which include as President for ICF-OC Chapter, and a member of International Coach Federation (ICF) global committees. Her recent contribution is as ICF Credentialing Committee Member for ensuring a credentialing system is updated to the standards for which the 18,000+ members measure their continuing professionalism.

Patricia also has a weekly radio show where she interviews ICF credentialed coaches.

http://www.designyourlifecoaching.com
http://www.designyourlifecoaching.com/radioshow
https://www.facebook.com/DesignYourLifeCoaching

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Game, Less Goals
By Rick Tamlyn, CPCC, MCC
(MMC guest master coach on 10/15/13 & blogger)

Today, I got seduced yet again to the big “goals” of my life – the outcomes of what I want to create – those goals like my mortgage paid off in 5 years or a best seller book by 2013.  

Now, this does not sound like a bad thing, yet, I notice that by focusing on the goals creates stress and anxiety in me big time as it activates that old standard question “how to create them.”

It has me lose focus on the “game” in life that I am playing right now. I am not a happy camper when I go here – really! And yet, when I re-focused on the “game” that I am up to in my life right now, I became more creative, more alive and connected to myself again.

I have heard from many folks that when we get to the later years of our life, we remember most how we lived life – way more than the goals that we achieved along the way.

When I coach folks these days, I tell them right upfront that I am not a goal focused coach – I focus on the “game of life” that you want to live – for I know the goals will happen organically.

So, the big question to ask ourselves is, ‘are you living a goal oriented life? Or a “game” oriented life?’

Thoughts?

Copyright © 2013, It's All Made Up, Inc.

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Rick Tamlyn is a sought after self-empowerment expert and works internationally as an experiential keynote speaker, co-active trainer and facilitator.  He has delivered over 500 conference keynotes, Bigger Game and Meet-Point-Dance workshops, Co-Active Coaching and Co-Active Leadership programs to individuals, teams and Fortune 100 organizations around the globe. Rick has inspired and challenged thousands of people and teams to achieve their personal and professional goals and to up their “game,” in service of a more fulfilled and sustainable world.

Rick co-created and developed The Bigger Game, a tool that inspires executives, leaders and everyday people to get out of their comfort zones and invent the life they want. He is the co-author of The Bigger Game: Why Playing a Bigger Game Designs Who You Want to Become, and has trained and certified leaders from seven (7) different countries to deliver e Bigger Game program. His eagerly anticipated latest book Play Your Bigger Game was just released.

Rick is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) and a Master Certified Coach (MCC) as designated by the International Coach Federation (ICF), and is a senior trainer for e Coaches Training Institute, a world-renown coach training and leadership development organization.

http://www.ricktamlyn.com

 Make 'Being Enough' a Game!
                        by Carol Courcy NCOC, MCC
                           (MMC guest master coach & blogger)

Calling all perfectionists and procrastinators!

Have you hit the brick wall of frustration and overwhelm? Want to know the singular reason you hit it? TAKE A DEEP BREATH!  Here it is… Many in this branch of the ‘never enough club’ make sure we never quite make it. We are constantly challenging ourselves to be and do more. We postpone finishing tasks and projects as there’s always more we could do.  On top of that we are often mean to ourselves. (I am so stupid, lazy, irresponsible etc.)  Or we berate ourselves. (I could do better. I should have done more… etc.)  

Unconsciously or consciously, we have a habit of always coming up short and rarely if ever feel truly satisfied. (Never quite making it is after all how we WIN at the game of ‘never enough.’)

What if you started playing the ‘enough game’?

If you GENUINELY want what you’ve been postponing, your desire may be beyond you’re your current capacity, skill level or level of emotional agility.  Instead of being embarrassed or ashamed, breathe a sigh of relief.  Your eyes are simply bigger than your stomach!

Decision point… Satisfaction–being pleased with your efforts–is TRULY a choice.  Do you want to be right about your insufficiencies or satisfied with your efforts? 

If you choose the latter, here’s the doorway:

   1.  What 3 doable steps put you on the right path to what you desire?  (Simple and easy are your criteria…NOT difficult or complex.)
   2.  In what order of priority?  Easiest to hardest? Hardest to easiest?  You choose.  Remember winning this satisfaction game is completion and some pleasure.
   3.  Do one–and ONLY one– at a time. Make a promise to yourself.  I promise to finish #1 before I start #2 . KEEP your promise. Got the idea?
   4.  After each completion, take a deep breath and OUT LOUD acknowledge that you did what you said. THANK YOURSELF! (Repeat until sincere!)

@Carol Courcy 2013, All Rights Reserved

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Carol began earning her “stripes” as a coach in 1990 after three years of intensive study of ontological coaching. In 2000, Carol earned her MCC. Around that same time, came the realization of being a habitual self-sacrificing overachiever and like the weed kudzu, resentment had taken up residence in her emotional landscape.

While successful on the outside, inside she felt guilt and an ever present sense of inadequacy. She discovered she was not alone! In a business culture of "never enough and more is better" many of her hard working clients also felt pushed, rushed and obligated.

To counter act all this overdone striving, Carol invented emotional agility—the ability to leave any emotion we are over using—like  guilt or resignation--for better ways of being and doing-- like satisfaction and joy. Her goal? Easily moving in and out of emotions as needed! In 2012 Carol published her emotional agility step by step guide called SAVE YOUR INNER TORTOISE! www.saveyourinnertortoise.com

Truth AND Dare
by Cat Williford CPCC, MCC
(MMC guest master coach & blogger)
 

It seems almost every conversation I have these days, starts with, “What the heck is (fill in the blank here with your own head scratcher of a question),” and winds up in giggles and belly laughs.

I’ve received half a dozen links to articles or videos talking about the health benefits of laughing, and read articles about the same in as many health journals and magazines in the past month alone!

This is very good news.  Especially in this era of – well, you can fill in the blank, here, too.

What Is YOUR Era?

I seem to be in an era of blowing the doors off what I thought were my limitations.  “This is the YEAR of EXPANSION,” I said at the beginning of the year so I have hurled myself into discomfort after discomfort and taken myself beyond my edge each month.

Rubber Bands Have A Limit

It turns out, all this stretching into my places of discomfort and unfamiliar has put me into a Sacroiliac Belt to stabilize … get ready for it … an over-stretched ligament in my pelvis.

After I laughed my you-know-what-off, I did what I do with any client facing a body challenge and got curious.  

Use this process to walk yourself through an “over-doing it” consequence that is showing up in your physical body as a result of whatever era you are in.   

1.  Identify the Obvious

Look at the nature of and location of your physical complaint.  Try out these places to look first.

    Low-grade constant pain?  What is going on in your life that is causing a low-level but consistent emotional or mental strain?
    Specific ache?  Let’s say you might be like me and have had more than your fair share of headaches … what thoughts are painful?
    Bruise?  What part of your ego is feeling roughed up or discounted?
    Broken bone?  What is breaking free or longing to break free within you?
    Fatigue?  What are you just damn tired of in your life?
    Ligament over-stretched?  Where are you over-stretched or over-committed?

2.  Peel the Onion

What is really going on?  (Go with your first instinctual answer…they tend to be really accurate.)  If you are anything like my clients, most of the time you are moving so quickly and doing so much, you miss the first little signs of imbalance.  Or dip into “magical thinking” by telling yourself you will feel better tomorrow … without changing one darn thing!  When you get to what is really going on, ask the part of your body that is hurting what it really needs.

3.  Ask for Help

Whether you grab a girlfriend and have a life gab-fest, or call your Coach or look up your symptom on WebMD to make sure you aren’t dying – ask for help.  We Modern Goddesses are just so darn … capable … that we just keep going.

When you work through these steps, your passion, purpose and magic meet.

Big A-Ha Beyond The Obvious

I got right with me when I coached myself through steps 2 and 3 around my over-stretched ligament.  I had “supposed to dreams” of a giant program launch like I’ve witnessed so many of my colleagues pull off.  I’ve made myself “wrong” for not having done one already.  I’ve “blamed” it on tech-phobia and other B.S.

Truth?  I love one-on-one and small group deep dive coaching work that feels sacred.  My clients love the transformations they experience from these intimate conversations.  I like the pace of intimacy and trust the cycles and rhythms of these conversations.  While transformation happens in the blink of an eye, consistent connection and action over time create lasting change.

No Surprise

It is no surprise that the program I attempted to launch last month … failed.  In all my “supposed to dreams” I over-stretched into creating something that was 85% me, and 15% off the mark.  What was off the mark?  I tried to follow a marketing guru’s advice and squeeze my brilliant work with women’s bodies into the business “niche”.

Truth and Dare

Truth: getting into a respectful relationship with your body will enhance everything else in your life, including your business.

Truth:  I’ve been to hell and back with my body and I know for sure the only thing that got me through those hellish trips was being in a partnership with my body that offered access to untold wisdom and strength.

Dare: Do what I really love to do!

What is YOUR truth AND Dare?

I feel my ligament healing as I type, which makes me laugh my you-know-what off again!

Love & Light,

Cat

Copyright ©2013 The Modern Goddess, All rights reserved.

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Cat is a pioneer in the field of Coaching and Coach Training, receiving one of the first six certifications bestowed by the prestigious Coaches Training Institute.  She has been a guest expert on The Maury Povich Show, featured in the Los Angeles Times and coached live on L.A.’s ABC Talk Radio.  Sought internationally as the ‘goddess wisdom coach’ Cat works with women executives and entrepreneurs in the UK, Germany, Switzerland, Australia and the U.S.  Clients report they gain clear calm thinking, visionary planning, strategic action, and unprecedented results.

Cat has trained and mentored over fifteen hundred coaches worldwide as a Supervisor and Program Leader for The Coaches Training Institute’s Certification program and as a senior faculty member of The Forton Group’s Coaching For Leadership internal coach program.

A believer in advocacy and volunteerism, Cat was on the Board of the Professional & Personal Coaches Association (which merged with the ICF) and was one of the early champions of creating Ethical Standards for the coaching profession.  

Cat is certain there is no one-size-fits-all approach and blends a wide array of tools in her coaching and training work utilizing multiple coaching models, astrology and numerology to MBTI and Gallup’s Strengths Finder 2.0.

Cat offers an intimate Group Coaching program: Love Your Body Healthy – Lose Weight & End Your Body Battles Forever (next one begins September 2013) & a free Body Love Strategy Session – no strings attached to ensure this is the right coaching program for you.

www.themoderngoddess.com
 

When Helping People is the Wrong Thing To Do

by Dr. Marcia Reynolds, MCC
(MMC guest Master Coach & blogger)

Your good intentions can actually be stunting people’s development.

Recently, a very frustrated client complained, "I did my best to help my team. I gave them a clear vision and shared every bit of knowledge I have around implementing the project. They just don't get it. We are never going to make our deadlines."

I knew why she was frustrated; when I was a manager, I too had to learn the distinction between serving and fixing others. It wasn't until I learned how to be a coach that I understood how powerful it could be to quit trying too hard to “help” others.

Consistently helping people takes away their ability to think for themselves. They become dependent on you and resign themselves to your authority.

Worse, you deflate their motivation. When your goal is to help people do things "correctly" you are taking the “I know and you don’t” position. Unwittingly, you come across as thinking you are better than the people you are helping who have lesser capability, knowledge and strength. As a result, they feel irritated or powerless, not trusted and capable.

Sharing all you know isn’t bad if people are starting new ventures and they know they lack skills and knowledge. They want your help. They may eagerly listen and do what you suggest.

On the other hand, if the people you are trying to help do not see you as the great one with all the knowledge, they won't hear you. Or, they might see you as informed but want you to acknowledge what they know too. If you don’t engage them in a two-way conversation, their resentment will block your words. They may even retaliate by doing something stupid or doing nothing at all. Then you judge them even more harshly.

Have you ever complained about having to parent another adult? Maybe you are trying too hard to fix them.

In contrast to fixing, if you feel you are asked to be of service, you are more likely to act as if you are working with someone of value equal to yours. If there is mutual respect for what you both know, you respond to a problem with the intention of collaborating to find the solution.

First, seek out the perspective and knowledge of the people you are serving to understand what they know. Provide information they are lacking so they can make better decisions. Then ask questions that might broaden their perspective. From here, new ideas and solutions emerge. If necessary, help them explore possible consequences of their ideas. When they come up with plans for action, ask them what particular support they need from you to be successful.

Not only will you establish a better relationship with those you serve, you will also benefit from taking this stance. You'll feel more tolerant when you aren't expecting people to do what you say. You'll feel more compassion when you hear what the person is grappling with in their mind. You'll enjoy the relationship better as you build mutual respect.

Quit fixing and start believing in others. Be curious to see what they know before you offer your advice. Determine if their ideas have value and they need more courage than direction. They may know the right answer but are afraid to take the next step. Share stories about times you faced similar situations and how you learned from your mistakes.

You can give them the benefit of your experiences but they need their own experiences and lessons to develop.

The next time you think a team or person needs to be fixed, ask yourself how you can best be of service. This might help your personal relationships, too. You can't fix your friends or your spouse.

Dr. Rachel Remen, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom, writes, "When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life whole." Do you see people as broken or whole? They will know how you judge them by your actions.

Seek to serve instead of fix. Life isn't about your great accomplishments. It's about being a significant member of a greater community where we are all standing side-by-side doing our best to thrive.
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Copyright © 2013 Covisioning LLC, All rights reserved.

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Marcia Reynolds, PsyD amuses, inspires and fascinates her audiences as she translates the latest discoveries of how the brain works into workable strategies for dealing with life’s challenges. Participants come to understand what makes communication so difficult and life so complicated. Whether they are leaders, professionals, entrepreneurs or parents, Dr. Reynolds then provides practical formulas and techniques they can use both at work and at home.

Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology. She has published two books, Outsmart Your Brain and Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction. Excerpts from her books have appeared in many places including Harvard Communications Newsletter, U.S. Business Review, Forbes.com, CNN.com, Psychology Today and The New York Times and she has appeared on ABC World News.

Marcia is also a pioneer in the coaching profession and was the 5th president of the International Coach Federation. She was one of the first 25 people in the world to earn the designation of Master Certified Coach (MCC). She is also a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP).
www.outsmartyourbrain.com

Being a masterful business coach is not enough. Being a great leader is not enough. Being a good person is not enough. To create meaningful change in organizations—global monoliths, public sector not-for-profits, sole proprietorships, or even families—we must network, market and sell. It's not enough simply to know how to integrate networking, marketing and sales. Business professionals must personally integrate these principles so seamlessly into who we are being that we no longer think of them as separate, independent, and somewhat unpleasant tasks, like taking out the trash or paying taxes.

It's crucial for business coaches to find the 'sweet spot' where these three domains of networking, marketing and sales intersect. Every business coach must understand the distinctions and master the activities associated with each part of this critical trinity in order to 'seal the deal.' Any deal.

•     If you're a solopreneur or small firm delivering business coaching, you must find and engage clients to have opportunities to deliver your services.
•     If you're an internal coach or human resources director in a large organization, you must create visibility, sell ideas, and garner support for programs to have opportunities to deliver your services.
•     If you're an organizational leader (particularly if you are directing an internal coaching program), you must influence other leaders, lobby support for initiatives, and communicate your vision so effectively that you inspire engaged, motivated followers.
•     If you're a successful business coach, you must help your clients to create opportunities for the delivery of their services—to influence others, to sell their ideas, or to manage their careers for increased visibility and promotion.

The success secret in each of these scenarios is the ability to master, implement, and lead from the sweet spot mentioned above. Without mastering the distinctions between networking, marketing, and sales, and the ability to teach those distinctions, we cannot help our clients move past their fears of asking for what they want. This is not just about finding and retaining business coaching clients. Our ability to seal the deal—at will—is largely determined by our understanding of the systematic, repeatable process behind it all.

Here are specific tools in each area of the 'critical trinity' to help you (and your clients) get the edge:

1. Networking (building relationships as the foundation for every business activity):

An informational interview is a powerful networking tool. This conversation is designed to gather information about what an individual (or his or her company) does. Since it's not a sales meeting, the encounter is non-threatening for the interviewee. In fact, most people are flattered when asked to provide this small dose of mentorship.

Informational interviews can be designed around anything your clients want to learn. You'll collaboratively co-create questions which your clients will ask people in their networks, helping to gain new perspectives and shed light on particular challenges or growth areas your clients are facing.

For business coaches, networking is a doorway into the sales process. The informational interview keeps pipelines sustainably fresh, with new things coming in continually.

2. Marketing (messaging about you or your business, service or product):

3. Sales (asking for what you want):

We all know this frustrating cycle: Our marketing and networking efforts create a full pipeline of leads that suddenly pop like popcorn, generating business. While we are focusing time and energy on delivering client services, we lose momentum for networking, marketing and sales activities. The result? We find ourselves in the uncomfortable position of completing projects with no further engagements on the horizon, requiring us to start generating new business all over again. Our excuse sounds like this: "But, I'm too busy to do any marketing or sales now. I need to focus on billable hours, and the time I spend selling is not billable time!"

Try Lessons Learned Meetings as a strategy to generate business while billing time. Lessons Learned Meetings are structured interviews with your clients and key decision-makers in the organization that take place midway through and at the end of the engagement. You'll check in to learn what is working and what can be improved. You'll tell your clients what they can do to help you to do your job even more effectively. Typically, these become mutual admiration sessions, which create fabulous opportunities for you to a) ask for testimonials, b) ask for referrals, and c) ask about your clients' upcoming challenges, projects or needs, so you can shift the lessons learned conversation into a sales conversation. It is a highly effective tool to actively, strategically and consistently build your business while reducing the cycle of non-billable time between engagements!

Go Get 'Em!

We often think in a box when it comes to our business development mindset. 'Rainmaking'—generating new business—is similar to the need within organizations to influence others. Rainmaking requires a systematic business development process entailing concurrent, seamlessly integrated action in the areas of networking, marketing and sales. When we recognize our innate strengths and eliminate our self-deception in these areas, we can get out of our own way, allowing ourselves, our clients, and the organizations in which we coach to easily seal the deal.
 

copyright Suzi Pomerantz 2013

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Suzi Pomerantz, MT, MCC, is the CEO of Innovative Leadership International LLC. Over the past 14 years, she has helped 120 leaders and organizations worldwide to find clarity in chaos. She is the author of the highly praised Seal the Deal: The Essential Mindsets for Growing Your Professional Services Business (HRD Press, 2006). Suzi can be reached by email at suzi@innovativeleader.com. www.innovativeleader.com www.suzipomerantz.com

 

 

 

 

As I prepare to go to the ICF Conference in London, I am pondering how to truly capture what I would like to give to people who want to become better coaches.  It keeps coming back to not knowing.

Here is the ad that came into my mind.

Coaching.
Not Knowing Certification.
All you have ever wanted to not know in one course.

That ad would certainly weed out the information junkies. The text and workbook could be blank. I could issue a stopwatch and have timed exercises in which the student strives to know less and less as the session continues.

If we were in some science fiction future, there could be mid-term and final cranial examinations to assess percentages in our brains — judgment space vs open curious not knowing space.  Like the current craze for %  body fat, there would be a lean version not knowing brain that people would strive for, and then take pride in achieving.  But oops, that slips into judgment space, doesn’t it? Tricky….

@Jan Elfline 2012

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Jan is a visual, creative and performance master coach.

"In classrooms, and on calls, people turn lumps of thought into gold, like modern-day alchemists. They pull rabbits out of hats, and I get to watch them do it. Learning is magic.

Creativity has interested me as long as I can remember, and I continue to puzzle over related questions: How is it that people are so inventive?  What sparks creativity?  How does a person craft an idea into something physical? What process in the mind leads to an invention, a musical composition, a manuscript, or a theatre production?

In addition to my EdD, I am a Master Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation and an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. In May, 2013, I will have had a coaching and training business for 20 years. I have taught seminars on coaching and creativity in businesses and at private institutes in North America, Europe and Asia. I now teach near Chicago, St Louis and at Hopewell near Bloomington, Illinois."
 
www.janelfline.com

More and more my clients are telling me their mind is like a mosquito, constantly flitting from one place to another and how this is effecting their productivity. What I am learning in my studies with Dr. David Rock, (author of Your Mind at Work, Coaching With the Brain in Mind and Quiet Leadership) is that mindfulness is one of the most important traits we can learn and apply. What I mean by mindfulness is being consciously aware of where you are placing your attention; this aspect of your mental well being is an important aspect of how you make choices which is responsible for and leads directly to the results you achieve.

The brain is a quantum environment and subject to the laws that apply to the subatomic level; one of these laws is this: The questions you ask influence the results you see.” This is one of the reasons coaching works so well. If I say, “What did your boss tell you in your performance review? The auditory circuits get activated along with the visual memory of the scene and any emotional reaction the client might have had. If I pose my question as “What went well in your performance review?” The client has a much broader series of circuits to choose from. The ones mentioned above, but in addition the overall effects of the interaction, previous performance reviews, conclusions, questions, etc. The client’s attention is held longer, more richly and more positively.

Often we are so emotionally involved with the problem or situation we can’t step back and separate the facts from the emotion. Asking a question that allows you to see the bigger picture, more encompassing of the positives means the quality of the focus is enriched. If you can become that aware observer, as a coach can do, your entire perspective is likely to change. I continually say to my clients, I understand the problem, now, let’s focus on the solution; or stop dwelling on what’s not right, and let’s focus on the desired result.

This is especially important when it comes to change; if you shine your spotlight on something new that represents the change you wish to make, your brain will make new connections. It’s a fact, when you focus your attention repeatedly on something, your brain hardwires these circuits…much like driving comes automatically, its because driving has been hardwired.

Being mindful, catching your thoughts, being aware, not multi-tasking (or dividing your attention), being clear to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want will begin to hardwire your brain for success. Even spending 3 minutes per day in a mindful visualization focusing attention on your business vision, greater health, increased energy, or gaining new customers will begin to bring the desired results. Getting as many senses as possible involved greatly enhances the end result. I’ve noticed with one client…she has begun to say: My intention is this, and my intention is that…and she is getting the results of her intention. When I drew this to her attention, she said, “You’re absolutely right!”

Even my chosen spiritual path, A Course in Miracles says, “You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, thus passively condoning its miscreation.” A question: What has shown up in your life that you don’t want (what have you created in your life that you don’t want)?

We must change our minds before we can change our behavior or our results. What you do comes from you think. We believe we are responsible for what we do, but not for what we think. This is an error in our thinking.

I challenge you to become more mindful of where your thoughts are focused, where you’re applying your attention and remind you that your thoughts become your reality.

Copyright Judy Irving

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Judy works with executives, managers and business leaders to clarify their greatness, their potential, their skills and their strengths. Then together they strategize on how to combine these with job responsibilities and expectations of upper management or stakeholders to transform this greatness into opportunity and results. She combines spiritual principles with practical skills to achieve her process which she describes as transformative coaching.

She is also an author and speaker. Her speaking engagements and coaching clients are international and include such diverse corporations as Coca Cola, FOX, Cox Communications, National Public Radio, Kiewit International, the City of Las Vegas and Smith Barney.

Irving is the past president of the Nevada Professional Coaches Association, Economic Development Chair of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) of Southern Nevada, on the board of the Las Vegas Foundation for an Independent Tomorrow (FIT) and is actively involved in the Las Vegas Chamber's Leadership Las Vegas Program. She was also a finalist in the 2008 Women of Distinction Awards sponsored by NAWBO Southern Nevada.

www.movingon.net

Power listening -the art of probing and challenging the information garnered from others to improve its quality and quantity -is the key to building a knowledge base that generates fresh insights.

In Power Listening: Mastering the Most Critical Business Skill of All (Portfolio Hardcover, 2012), Bernard T. Ferrari suggests four steps that form a good listening foundation:

Show respect. Our conversation partners often have the know-how to develop effective solutions. Part of being a good listener is helping them pinpoint critical information and see it in a new light. To harness the power of these ideas, you must fight the urge to "help" by providing immediate solutions. Learn to respect your partner's ability to identify them.

Keep quiet. Get out of the way of your conversations so you can hear what's important. Don't hog the spotlight, try to prove your own smarts or emphasize how much you care. Speak only to underscore your conversation partner's points. Your partner should speak 80 percent of the time, with you filling the remaining 20 percent. Make your speaking time count by spending most of it asking questions, rather than having your say.

Challenge assumptions. Too many high-caliber professionals inadvertently act like know-it-alls, remaining closed to anything that undermines their beliefs. Good listeners seek to understand - and challenge - the assumptions that lie below the surface of every conversation. Holding onto these assumptions is the biggest roadblock to power listening.

Maintain focus. Power listening requires you to help your conversation partner isolate the problem, issue or decision at hand. Discard extraneous details or emotions that interfere with homing in on what truly matters.

Recognize that all conversations have intellectual and emotional components. It's important to "decouple" the two, according to Ferrari, as several emotions are guaranteed to hinder communication:

    Impatience
    Resentment and envy
    Fear and feeling threatened
    Fatigue and frustration
    Positive emotions and overexcitement

As with anger and fear, excitement can also distract you from asking the right questions and challenging underlying assumptions.

"The most exciting part is that, once you get good at listening, you will be able to do it easily, almost effortlessly, without even thinking about it," Ferrari writes.

Copyright Moty Koppes 2012

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Moty has been a Master Certified Coach (MCC) for over 14 years. She guides her clients through transformational change to achieve previously unimaginable results.

She is an assessor for Credentialing for ICF, serves as a Professional Coach Mentor to other coaches around the world and is a faculty member at Coach U. She holds three Master Degrees in Clinical and Experimental Psychology from Université De Genève and Pepperdine University.

Moty is a mentor and a success team facilitator to the National Association of Women Business Owners(NAWBO), a mentor to MBA Students at UC-Irvine and is an Executive Coach for the Nonprofit Org of Orange County (ECofOC).

Moty is a true citizen of the world,she has lived in 16 countries across Europe, Asia and North America and is fluent in eight languages. www.coachmoty.com