Power listening -the art of probing and challenging the information garnered from others to improve its quality and quantity -is the key to building a knowledge base that generates fresh insights.

In Power Listening: Mastering the Most Critical Business Skill of All (Portfolio Hardcover, 2012), Bernard T. Ferrari suggests four steps that form a good listening foundation:

Show respect. Our conversation partners often have the know-how to develop effective solutions. Part of being a good listener is helping them pinpoint critical information and see it in a new light. To harness the power of these ideas, you must fight the urge to "help" by providing immediate solutions. Learn to respect your partner's ability to identify them.

Keep quiet. Get out of the way of your conversations so you can hear what's important. Don't hog the spotlight, try to prove your own smarts or emphasize how much you care. Speak only to underscore your conversation partner's points. Your partner should speak 80 percent of the time, with you filling the remaining 20 percent. Make your speaking time count by spending most of it asking questions, rather than having your say.

Challenge assumptions. Too many high-caliber professionals inadvertently act like know-it-alls, remaining closed to anything that undermines their beliefs. Good listeners seek to understand - and challenge - the assumptions that lie below the surface of every conversation. Holding onto these assumptions is the biggest roadblock to power listening.

Maintain focus. Power listening requires you to help your conversation partner isolate the problem, issue or decision at hand. Discard extraneous details or emotions that interfere with homing in on what truly matters.

Recognize that all conversations have intellectual and emotional components. It's important to "decouple" the two, according to Ferrari, as several emotions are guaranteed to hinder communication:

    Impatience
    Resentment and envy
    Fear and feeling threatened
    Fatigue and frustration
    Positive emotions and overexcitement

As with anger and fear, excitement can also distract you from asking the right questions and challenging underlying assumptions.

"The most exciting part is that, once you get good at listening, you will be able to do it easily, almost effortlessly, without even thinking about it," Ferrari writes.

Copyright Moty Koppes 2012

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Moty has been a Master Certified Coach (MCC) for over 14 years. She guides her clients through transformational change to achieve previously unimaginable results.

She is an assessor for Credentialing for ICF, serves as a Professional Coach Mentor to other coaches around the world and is a faculty member at Coach U. She holds three Master Degrees in Clinical and Experimental Psychology from Université De Genève and Pepperdine University.

Moty is a mentor and a success team facilitator to the National Association of Women Business Owners(NAWBO), a mentor to MBA Students at UC-Irvine and is an Executive Coach for the Nonprofit Org of Orange County (ECofOC).

Moty is a true citizen of the world,she has lived in 16 countries across Europe, Asia and North America and is fluent in eight languages. www.coachmoty.com

Thinking big and wanting a lot for ourselves is something most of us have not learned. Instead, we think in terms of getting just enough to get by – at best. But in doing so, we unnecessarily limit our own possibilities and potential. Individuals who want a lot more for themselves and “dream big” tend to be rewarded for their ambition. Evidence shows that when we raise the bar for what we want and why we want it, there is a direct correlation to the extent to which we enhance our ability to gain clarity, take action, and effortlessly achieve even more than we wanted.

Here are ten steps that I use in my coaching practice business. These steps have made many dreams come true for myself and my clients. Begin thinking in these terms, and you too will see your dreams starting to come true right now.

1.     Create a clear and compelling vision – something you care deeply about rather than something you feel you should care about. (A vision is what you see.)
2.     Have a burning desire to realize your vision. The desire must be much bigger than the obstacles.
3.     Develop a compelling "why" that defines your reasons for wanting to achieve this. This will be the heat that fuels your vision and will evolve into your mission. (A mission is what you do that contributes to the realization of your vision.)
4.     Create a reserve of support. Get more support than you think you need and before you need it. Stay away from people who will shoot you down.
5.     Make your commitment HUGE. Develop a "NO Plan B" mentality to realize your vision. This will give you the ability to break down your vision into bite size pieces and take immediate action.
6.     Strengthen your personal foundation. The bigger the vision, the stronger the foundation must be. Eliminate all sources of negative energy, distractions and things you are putting up with unnecessarily. Identify your unmet needs and embark on a campaign to see them met. A personal need is something you must have met to function at your best.
7.     Identify your core values — those values that are fundamentally important to you and are an expression of who you are. This will make it easier for you to define your purpose. (Like your values, your purpose is who you are.)
8.     Acknowledge your fears and move forward anyway. In recognizing your fears, you decrease their power over you.
9.     Define who you need to be when you realize your vision. Be that person NOW!
10.     Be present and enjoy the process. Being in the present is where you experience breakthroughs, and having fun will bring you a lot of lightness and create a delightful adventure.

Copyright Chrissy Carew 1999.

Chrissy really walks her talk, she continually thinks big and wins! She is not only a highly successful master coach, she founded the Insightful Player® initiative in 2010, a bold movement of hope that features inspiring stories and programs about great NFL role models to inspire today's youth.

Last fall, The Insightful Player book, featuring the first 32 Insightful Players was released. Since then, Chriissy teamed with Lifeville.com to launch The Insightful Player Game, a free online game for youth that utilizes the Guiding Principles of the NFL players featured in the book. Check it out!

And now the NFL Players Association has announced its partnership with Insightful Player-(to read more http://bit.ly/YH8rT8 ).

Rightly so Chrissy is very excited,“This partnership with the NFLPA will allow the Insightful Player initiative to grow to unbelievable heights as we work together to empower our nation’s youth.”

Congratulations to Chrissy, the NFLPA, the kids and all of us as we will all benefit from Chrissy's dream and hard work.

Gail

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Chrissy is a Hall-of-Fame Master Certified personal and business coach, mentor and trainer.
She coaches high integrity professional football players to maximize performance on and off the field. She also works with trailblazers who have an indomitable will and are relentless in their pursuit of elevating the world to awe-inspiring heights.

Chrissey is on a mission to make this world a better place and has launched the Insightful Player® initiative, a platform that features high-integrity people such as current and former NFL players, who are passionate about inspiring their fans, particularly kids.

She is the past Vice President of the International Coach Federation (ICF), served three terms on the Board of Directors and six terms as the Public Relations and Marketing Chair. She is a coaching pioneer who spearheaded high-impact public relations campaigns that resulted in the gargantuan growth of the coaching industry. She created, produced and hosted a coaching radio show and was featured in a weekly coaching segment on ABC’s WMUR TV News.is a Coach U Professional Mentor Coach and veteran Trainer.

www.insightfulplayer.com
www.coachcarew.com

                                     by Lyn Allen, MCC, PMC         
                                     (MMC guest Master Coach & blogger)
                                                            

There’s a really simple coaching tool that often gets overlooked because it is so simple. Or, it gets over-used to the point of sounding formulaic and insincere.

Want to know what it is?

Acknowledging.

Why acknowledge? Because it builds connection between you and your client. It can also reassure your client and deepen his/her confidence. Using acknowledgment can make your clients more aware of their strengths and resources, and invite them to face truth in new ways.

To leverage this tool as effectively as possible:

1)    Be mindful of sharing vs. telling. Be authentic and use whatever you share as a springboard to your client’s discovery.

2)    Notice the facts and acknowledge them. Practice focusing only on the facts to avoid interpretation and assumption. (Yes, there are times you do use interpretation in coaching, but you want to be sure to do this consciously and not as a default. )

3)    Notice also what you experience (sense, see, know) and learn to share this with no attachment to outcome. Again -  use it to invite your client’s discovery

4) Weave your acknowledging throughout your coaching. Let this become part of your personal style of communication and notice how attractive this makes you.

5) Acknowledge what your client just said by using his/her words and then (wait for it…..) using that as a springboard to discovery.

6)  Since you’re including all of who your client is AND what’s going on with them, be sure you acknowledge all of it: discomfort, emotions, intensity, urgency, patterns, voice changes, energy shifts, awareness, insights, delusions, illusions, strengths, resources, when the client does not take in an acknowledgment, silence….. and more.

If you are a fan of credentialing, you’ll want to note: Acknowledging can reflect several of the ICF’s Core Coaching Competencies:

    Direct Communication
    Fostering Intimacy and Trust
    Coaching Presence
    Listening
    Creating awareness

To further develop your skills as a master of acknowledgment, look for opportunities to acknowledge others. If you find you’re already doing more of this than you realized, then be sure to acknowledge this to yourself!

If you want to further your skills in this area, you’ll want to be part of the next advanced language class the next advanced language class.

In celebration of your coaching success!

Hugs,
Lyn

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For nearly 20 years, Lyn Allen, MCC, PMC, has been a pioneer and a formative force in the field of life and executive coaching. Lyn now serves as an active member of the Assessor Team in credentialing for the International Coach Federation.

In private practice as a coach since 1993, Lyn was a member of the original faculty and advisory board of CoachU, and part of CU’s original curriculum development team. Also a graduate of the pioneering Coaching With Love program, she has mentored and trained coaches around the world since 1994.

www.coachesfinishingschool.com
www.lynallen.com

@demoody 2009

October historically is a very momentous month for me personally. A couple of examples- it was in October that I began working for hospice in New York City and what followed were some of the greatest and most rewarding years of my life to date. It was also in the month of October that one of my closest friends died.

Coincidentally, if there is such a thing, we are having Aurora Winter our 1^st grief Master Coach on the MMC tele-class series this month-October. So in keeping with the October theme, I have decided to share a bit of the research paper I wrote back in 2009 as a part of my coaching graduation requirement. It was titled Dying to Live: Can “death and dying” enlighten and inspire a coaching practice?

The section I’m posting here has to do with change and loss (death) and how coaches might handle and utilize these inevitable periods to be of the greatest service to their clients.

So here it is...

Transformation coach Alan Seale says that in order to manifest, anything in our life, change is inevitable and one must find ways to make peace with it (2008 p. 60).

As such, transition coaching is an inherent challenge found within every niche. It is important that coaches understand that every change has its own full and natural process and is likely to include fear and other strong emotions. The client is not as well served if the coach is not open and alert to this. For example if the coach is too focused on forward movement, on the goal versus the process and or is fearful of emotions and opening Pandora’s Box, the client’s growth and lasting attainment may be greatly impeded.

For many years business consultant William Bridges (1991) has helped organizations and individuals successfully make necessary and difficult changes.

The following are some of the required components found in chapter 3 of his book:

• In order to facilitate a successful transition one must begin by not looking to the outcome but envisioning the ending that will be necessary in order to leave the old reality and identity behind. “Nothing so undermines organizational change as the failure to think through who will have to let go of what when change occurs” (p. 4).

• Just as the terminally ill go through various stages of letting go in order to come to acceptance so do others going through their transitional process. It is vital that these stages be anticipated, accepted and sympathetically acknowledged. Also that the client be allowed even encouraged to talk about what they are feeling. Oftentimes the fear is that this will only stir things up but Bridges reports that a great deal of research has proven that if people can talk about their losses they heal and move on much faster.

• It is important not to rush the process or pretend that it is easy, in fact discussing what is difficult about it and what can be done is very beneficial.

• Finally, just as coaches want to celebrate a client’s gain, it can be equally important to mark an ending, to help them find a way to honor the loss. The same way a funeral or memorial honors the loss of a loved one.

It is Bridges experience that one cannot begin to move forward successfully and obtain the desired results without doing these things. It is also his belief that it doesn’t take a psychology degree to effectively assist a client through transition.

What it does take first and foremost is awareness and a willingness to go there as well as a level of comfort with emotions, which is a required skill for a coach (ICF, Code of Ethics, 2009).

Life coach and author Dave Ellis (2006) believes that when a client is able to experience and release emotion, this is one of the great benefits of coaching. “Whatever we fully experience disappears”… “Our genius is often blocked by unexpressed emotions”(p. 140). But when they are released the client becomes “more capable of solving their own problems” (p.141).

Bridges, W. (1991). Managing transitions, making the most of changes. New York, NY: Harpers Collins Publishers.
Ellis, D. (2006). Life coaching; a manual for helping professionals. Bethel, CT: Crown House Publishing.
ICF (2009) The ICF code of ethics, International Coach Federation, 2009, http://www.coachfederation.org/about_icf/ethics-&-regulations/icf-code-ofethics/
Seale, A. (2008). The Manifestation Wheel. LLC: San Francisco, CA: Red Wheel/Weiser

©Gail Moore2009

One of the greatest benefits for me in listening to master coaches coaching is the continual reminder that for the coach, coaching is so much more about "being" rather than "doing".

After all, being is the foundation & impetus from which any doing arises. If I’m not centered, present or trusting etc. then what is the quality and impact of the doing going to be?

It's easy to get caught up in the wanting to help, to ask that transformational question, to give invaluable feedback.  As well as wanting the client to get moving – set goals and have actionable steps.  And the belief can be that in order for the client to move forward in any significant way these actions are essential.

But I'm witnessing again and again the power of presence, simply being and genuinely being with. It becomes more and more obvious after listening to so many sessions that a lot of people are truly starved for the following: to be heard & seen and to be recognized & acknowledged.

Again not just for what they've done but even more importantly for who they are. If the client is able to feel and receive these things, the transformation is immediately palpable.

We are definitely a society of doers, where actions and accomplishments are praised and rewarded. And when something occurs in our lives where we are no longer able to perform, oftentimes we feel lost and worthless.

We are in my opinion putting the cart before the horse. What we do is NOT who we are. And until we really “get” and appreciate that, I believe the castles we are building are made of sand.

I thank the Master Coaches who have so exquisitely modeled the quality of being I aspire to.

Excerpt from Conversations for Power and Possibility

by Darlene Chrissley, MCC
(MMC guest Master Coach & blogger)

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”  Anne Frank

As I write this book, the world is changing everywhere I look.  Old industries and institutions are disappearing and new ones are being born every minute. Look what the digital revolution has done to the music and book and newspaper industries, what the mobile revolution is doing to the way we work and shop and stay connected.  Change can result in feelings of fear, grief and confusion.  But as the old order passes away, dreams that seemed impossible in the past, may now be ripe for action.

Our times call out for leadership – the ability to see new possibilities and the determination to capitalize on them in order to realize a better future.

I love the word realize;  and I’m suspicious of those who caution us to be realistic.  Both words come from the same root verb, to be real.  To be realistic is to conform to what already exists.  To realize is to bring something from the realm of imagination and give it form in the physical world. Leaders respect the realistic, but understand that reality is a dynamic state, always in a state of flux.  What has seemed real enough in the past may pass away, to be replaced by a new reality that is just coming into existence.  The greatest gift of the leader is the ability to be able to realize a better world than the one they inherited.  We can all exercise this kind of leadership, in our families, workplaces, and communities.   When we do, we experience ourselves as powerful players rather than pawns in the game of life.

The most important decisions you will make in your life are about how you will choose to relate to the world.  Do you see yourself as powerful or powerless to impact it?  Do you see the course of history as something that just moves along, dictated by fate, or as something that responds to human choices and actions?   Do you believe it is possible to make a difference?  Is it possible, through your actions, to change or influence the world?

What if the world we live in, the social and economic world anyway, is born in our imaginations and created through the stories we tell and the conversations we have?

I imagine a world where people are confident in their own power to influence the world, committed to using that power to make a positive difference, and focused on the opportunities that exist to make it so.  I see a world where conversations are places where new ideas are born and nurtured, new possibilities explored, tested and developed.  I see a world where our conversations build us up and make us stronger, more powerful both individually and collectively that we would otherwise be.

Three morals in this story:

    The world is always in a state of flux.
    Change opens up new possibilities.
    You are more powerful than you know.

Yours with creativity and imagination,

Darlene

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Darlene Chrissley is a writer, speaker, and professional master coach. She works with individuals and organizations across North America and Europe, teaches at Adler International Learning, and writes a popular blog about living with creativity and imagination, one day at a time. www.darlenechrissley.com

• Position yourself very competitively in the marketplace
• Create demand for your expertise
• Deliver accessible, affordable and tremendously valuable services
• Charge group clients less than your one-to-one clients
• Greatly increase your own earning power in the most highly profitable coaching service you can include in your mix of services

Sound the alarm, please          

Ive been pondering if indeed there really is an “uncoachable” client- aside possibly from a person with mental illness.

For transparency purposes, I will admit right off the bat, I have a huge aversion to labels. Not that my mind doesn’t engage in them as well but I try to be conscious of when it’s happening and stop the pattern in it’s tracks.

The alarm bell sounds reminding me that ah yes this may be my ego at work and I don't have to buy into it or let it run the show.

Now I don’t presume to know another’s process, so please know that I’m not implying anything about anyone else.

However, it is my opinion that “uncoachable” is a label and labels are beliefs.

And if we’re not careful they can color our perception and really limit our experiences and possibilities. And of course on the most destructive level they can create distance, fear and isolation not to mention self righteousness. And none of that leads to good, after all, aren’t most wars caused by beliefs? OK so can you tell I’m very wary of labels and beliefs? And is my alarm bell now ringing advising me to examine in what ways my "beliefs" around labels and beliefs are effecting my experience? Yep! But I will spare you that process and move on…

Playing the devils advocate

If we consider the millions of different personalities and the myriad ways of learning and perceiving, how do we truly “know” that someone is uncoachable?

Perhaps instead:

• We are simply the wrong coach for that client
• We haven’t yet assisted the client in discovering what it is they really want or their way of working
• We are subconsciously imposing our beliefs about how coaching should look & feel or how a client should operate
• We don’t like the client, their ideals or their process

A really good one

One of the most compelling reasons I’ve heard for a client being uncoachable is: won’t take responsibility for their life, constantly plays the victim and uses that as an excuse for not moving forward.

Personally if I dealt with that long enough and couldn’t find a way “in” to assist them, I admit it would be very frustrating and I’d probably choose not to continue the relationship.

Does that mean however that the client is uncoachable? I don’t know but my gut response is I don’t think so.

It may not be the right timing or again a different coach with a different approach and style might cut through all of that in the first session.

And by simply labeling is it possible the coach is the one who is not taking responsibility?

The AHA

What if the more important and beneficial question could actually be:

How is that determination/diagnosis of a client being “uncoachable”- of service to anyone, in any way?

• Does it prevent us from feeling disappointed or inadequate and is that a good thing?
• Does it justify our not liking and wanting to work with the client and do we need justification?
• In what ways does it serve the client?
• How does it aid us in growing and going deeper?

Tag…you’re it!

OK so those are my thoughts but there are so many of you out there who have been coaching a lot longer than I have and could share a perspective that I’m not aware of.  I would truly appreciate hearing your wisdom!