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"Coach Talk" Blog!

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Tuesday, November 12 2019
This Is Why Your Intuition Is Fabulous!

Photo by Eli DeFaria on Unsplash

This Is Why Your Intuition is So Fabulous
by Lyssa deHart MCC
(MMC guest master coach and blogger)

Everyone has unlimited access to their intuition. It’s a connection that you were born with. Sadly, for many, that connection to your intuition and inner wisdom gets fuzzy as you navigate your life and grow up.

As you learn to be “rational” and play by the rules, you may have chucked your intuition out the window. So, by the time you find yourself in your 20’s you might be pretty disconnected from your wellspring of self-knowledge. The cool thing is that as soon as you decide to, you can reconnect and recharge your touchstone; becoming the guru of your own self-awareness and intuition.

Head, Heart, and Gut
You have been born into a body, and that body operates a little like a tuning fork. Think back to a decision that you made that turned out to be the smartest choice you made. The decision was probably a whole body, “yes!” That’s because your brain doesn’t just live in that noggin on top of your body; it follows your spinal cord down, connecting to neurons in your heart, stomach, and intestinal systems. All of this is the system of our intuition and wisdom.

Once you engaged that big brain, it starts the process of looking at the situation from multiple angles. You begin getting multiple data points, talking to friends, doing research, and weighing out the pros and cons. However, your head alone isn’t enough, and if you have ever had that feeling that all the data says yes, but you are still at a no, you know this feeling. It’s only when the calm certainty of “yes” moves into your heart and gut that you feel ready to take action.

There is robust research now linking our cognitive function, i.e., thinking in our heads, to our emotional and relational center in our heart, and also with our self-preservation and action center in our gut. This complex linkage of neural networks is our whole brain, and when you engage your whole brain into making decisions and problem solving, you get a much more fabulous outcome. You touch into your own unique inner wise person.

The Research
I am adding research to this conversation because it shows the data that your head is probably wanting. In the research article, Head, Heart, and Gut in Decision Making: Development of a Multiple Brain Preference Questionnaire, by G. Soosalu, S. Henwood, and A. Deo, one quote stood out.

In our results showed very small percentages (only 4%) expressed a relatively balanced preference for head, heart, and gut together. Yet there are suggestions from both the leadership decision-making literature and psychiatric literature that effective and wise decisions require a balance and use of all three decision styles (Coget, 2011; Coget & Keller, 2010; Dotlich et al., 2006; Fenton-O’Creevy, Soane, Nicholson, & Willman, 2011) or a balance between rational and experiential/intuitive styles (Dane & Pratt, 2007; Freeman, Evans, & Lister, 2012; Hogarth, 2002; Shapiro & Spence, 1997).

This research speaks volumes about the benefits to everyone, leaders, parents, students, basically human beings across the spectrum in accessing their three brains in the decision making processes.

How the 3 Brains Work
How each section of our three brains working to help us make decisions requires a bit of breaking it down, to make sense. Let’s dive into the downlow of the article.

The Head Brain
The prime functions of the head brain.

Cognitive perception. This includes pattern recognition, perception, cognitive functioning, as well as general awareness of the environment around you.

Thinking. Your ability to reason, make abstract connections, analyze, and ultimately synthesize information.

Make meaning. You are, after all, a meaning-making machine. Your ability to process language, generate narrative, and use metaphor comes from this innate ability.

The Heart Brain
The prime functions of the heart brain.

Emotions. Your ability to process emotions such as anger, grief, joy, humor, jealousy, happiness, love, and hate.

Values. The heart is the touchstone to processing what is important to you, your dreams, desires, and aspirations generate here.

Relational affect. This speaks to how your heart impacts how you feel connected to others, whether you like/love/dislike someone or something, as well as your capacity for compassion and empathy.
Read my blog post Increase Your Empathy for ideas on how to do more of this.

The Gut Brain
The prime functions of the gut brain.

Identity. This is really an element of our sense of self. Your core understanding of who you are and what kind of person you want to be. And, at a deep visceral level, we can easily tell when something feels like “self” versus “not-self.”

Self-preservation. The gut is well known for letting us know when we are hungry, and also it guides us with reactions like a sick stomach when we are nervous or scared. Your gut is highly sensitive to danger and safety, boundaries, and aversions.

Taking action. Lastly, your impulse for action comes from this brain. Your gusty courage and the willingness to act gets engaged and activated, letting you know it’s time for movement.

It’s Fabulous!
Anytime you can use something that you already own, that generates from inside of you, and that can help you to access your intuition instantly… well that is fabulous. By asking yourself three pretty simple questions, you can get a lock on what you are feeling, thinking, and ready to act on.

  • How happy is my head with this choice?
  • Next, how happy is my heart?
  • And then, you guessed it, how happy is my gut?

These become a simple way of getting clarity around how aligned each of your three brains is for any decision. With practice, this becomes a 30-second self-assessment. When the three brains are not in alignment, it is a great place to get curious. Example: My head is at a yes, my heart wants this super bad, but my gut is churning. What is my gut trying to tell me? Remember, if your gut is around self-preservation, then are you about to leave a job without a plan? Or are you getting ready to drop a lot of money on something that you need more intel on?

Maybe you are about to leap into a relationship where you are ignoring red flags. This strategy works no matter the situation or the circumstances. You have the ability to connect to your intuition and use it to inform decisions. And, just between the two of us, you know when you know.

Develop Your Inner Wise Self
If it’s true that most of us believe what we tell ourselves, and it is, then growing our access to our intuition is crucial. Your inner wise self is both your birthright and your best friend. Learning to trust yourself, make decisions, and navigate to a happy life are all elements that are interwoven. Using your head, heart, and gut, feeling for alignment between these three brains, is a simple key to a fabulous life. You’ve got this!

Your Turn...
I would LOVE to hear from YOU!

What opens up for you when you learn to trust yourself?
How does trusting your intuition help you live a better life?


About Lyssa

Lyssa has over 25 years of experience working with individuals and organizations. She is a relationship expert and narrative coach, focusing on our relationship with ourselves and with the stories that we tell ourselves. She wrote the bestselling book, StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Life, (2017).

Lyssa works with as a developmental Mentor Coach with Coaches working on ACC, PCC, and MCC. She also works with groups and individuals to draw on their empowered stories, internal wisdom, and self-awareness.

Lyssa creates safe spaces to explore limiting beliefs and the internal narratives that keep people from playing full out in their world. She is passionate about supporting people to craft a story worth living.

Read Lyssa's full bio

You can read more of Lyssa's blog posts and her services at lyssadehart.com

Posted by: Lyssa deHart MCC AT 08:55 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Tuesday, November 05 2019
Forbes Coaching Leaders Share Their Wisdom

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

Its so wonderful when masterful leaders share the wisdom they have gained from their challenges. Its inspiring, comforting and motivating! And sometimes we can actually avoid those pitfalls ourselves as a result!

In this Forbes article 15 Leadership Lessons Coaches Wish They Knew When They Started Their Careers "top business and career coaches from Forbes Coaches Council offer firsthand insights on leadership development & careers".

The first coach is Executive Master Coach Joelle K. Jay MCC. Joelle was a MMC guest and she demonstrated a masterful coaching session and fascinating Q&A. If youd like to read more about that call just go to the past calls page and click on the Executive niche tab.
 

Posted by: Gail Moore CPC AT 01:20 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Tuesday, October 29 2019
The Places We Go By Hearing the Masters Coachng!

The call with Master Coach Helen House demonstrates many masterful skills. Especially important is for coaches to be able to hear how to be with emotional issues, keep it light and moving forward!

  • “That was marvelous - the master modeling AND all of Helen's self ownership, insights and inspirational give back.
  • ”“Helen is FABULOUS! A worthy role model at every level.”
  • “A beautiful demonstration of coaching. Also enjoyed the discussion around how the coach deals with “heavy” issues.”
  • “I’d love to be able to use acknowledgment as easily and natural as the coach did in the call.”
  • “Call was deep enough to be as therapeutic as a therapy session, but in the context of coaching and present/future orientation. So masterful!”
  • “The dance between the coach and client was electric.”

To read all about the call and more participant take-aways go to the past calls page and look under the "transformational" tab.

Posted by: Gail Moore CPC AT 09:43 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, October 18 2019
Coaching Mastery Qualitative Tip #5

                                                                                                      Image by Photo Mix from Pixabay

Coaching Mastery Tip #5
By Fran Fisher MCC

If you are ready to move beyond your current comfort zones and reach for a new level of mastery in your coaching, consider these qualitative tips for guidance. This is the 4th in a 13 part mini blog series that will share Thirteen Coaching Mastery Qualitative Tips. Read Tip 1Tip 2, Tip 3 Tip 4

#5 0f 13

EMPATHY/Caring

Being empathetic and caring supports the competencies of Creating Trust and Intimacy (creating a safe space for our clients) and Creating Presence (who we are being that provides an open, flexible, curious, and trustworthy partnership for the client).

  • Empathy asks us to withhold judging the behavior of others and instead, do our best to take the empowering, compassionate, or understanding view.
  • Caring asks us to connect heart to heart.

Questions you might ask yourself:

  • How well do I self-manage my judgments, or temptations to offer my advice, opinions, perspectives?
  • What daily habits or practices support my physical, emotional, and mental well being?
  • How well do I listen to others?
  • Who do I choose to be in partnership with my client?

Inquiry:  When am I connected heart to heart with my client? When am not  connected?


Fran Fisher is a Master Certified Coach (MCC), accredited by the International Coach Federation. She is a visionary leader, international speaker, and published author. Fran specializes in providing coaching services for visionary leaders, executives, and business owners, collaborative work teams, as well as coaching and mentoring for experienced coaches.

Recipient of The Lifetime Achievement Award 2012 by the ICF Chapter Washington State, Fran is recognized internationally as one of the pioneers and champions for coaching. She served as a founding International Coach Federation, ICF, Executive Board member, and co-chair of the Ethics and Standards Committee, responsible for developing the Credentialing Programs for aspiring coaches and training schools. Fran was the first Executive Director of the Association for Coach Training Organizations, ACTO. She has been serving ICF as a PCC and MCC Credentialing Assessor since 1998.

www.franfishercoach.com

Posted by: Fran Fisher MCC AT 01:42 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, October 18 2019

Join us to hear this CTI legend and coaching pioneer!

Posted by: Gail Moore CPC AT 01:30 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Tuesday, September 10 2019
The Places We Go by Hearing the Masters Coaching!

Here's just one participant take-away from the call with Jim Milner MCC:

"I’m so struck by the fact that Jim, as a black man, has undoubtedly experienced racism in its many forms and could have identified with the client’s goal so strongly that he could have been tempted to offer suggestions- but steadfastly did not (even when asked for them repeatedly).

John was also an unusually emotionally intelligent client who generously revealed himself to all of us anonymous eavesdroppers! Talk about magical chemistry! This was one of the best calls ever."

You can read more feedback under the "strategy" niche tab

Posted by: Gail Moore CPC AT 01:20 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Tuesday, August 20 2019

Would you like to deepen your understanding of the core competencies?Perhaps it's time for a fresh perspective, a new understanding and a broader vision.

Executive, leadership development and master strategy coach Jim Milner is going to take us on a deep dive into the core competencies.

To further the learning he will then demonstrate them in a live real world coaching session with a client he's never met before and who is not in the coaching profession.

Finally to drive the learning home Jim will be breaking his process down and answering our questions.

Join us Friday August 23 for this master class on the foundation of coaching- the ICF core competencies.

You read more about the call here.

Posted by: Gail Moore CPC AT 09:04 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Wednesday, July 31 2019
The Places We Go by Hearing the Masters Coaching!

Narrative and relationship master coach Lyssa deHart's coaching, debriefing and answerng of questions is a WOW!

The most common feedback was "One of my all time favorite calls and I can't wait to listen to it again!"

Here are a couple participant take-aways:

  • "Lyssa used so many coaching skills in such a masterful way, if I were to note all the skills, I would be listing all the competencies. Lyssa was so present she picked up on the moments that helped the client connect to her awareness, she simply stayed curious, and the client went deep. Beautiful coaching very impressed."
     
  • "I’m impressed at how the coach stayed in the coaching framework throughout the call even during the moments when the client brought up the past. Lyssa beautifully weaved those therapeutic moments into future oriented, forward moving powerful questions. I’m looking forward to re-listening to this call."

Want to read more? Go to the past calls page and click on the "Narrative" tab.

Posted by: Gail Moore CPC AT 12:36 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Saturday, July 20 2019
Coaching Mastery Qualitative Tip #4

Coaching Mastery Tip #4
By Fran Fisher MCC

If you are ready to move beyond your current comfort zones and reach for a new level of mastery in your coaching, consider these qualitative tips for guidance. This is the 4th in a 13 part mini blog series that will share Thirteen Coaching Mastery Qualitative Tips. Read Tip 1Tip 2, Tip 3.

#4 0f 13

Connectedness

Be connected by being Observant and Responsive to what the client offers.

  • Observant: notice the client’s words, tone, energy, energy shifts, patterns of speaking, patterns of thinking, processing, etc. Noticing these nuances will help you stay present and connected.
  • Responsive: follow the client’s lead with curiosity and relevance in the moment versus your formulaic observation or question. Examples:
    • You smiled. What’s happening?
    • I’ve heard you say _____ three times. What’s important or meaningful about ___? Or, what does ___ mean for you?
    • What are you learning about yourself from that insight?

Inquiry: What frees me up to be fully present with my client?


Fran Fisher is a Master Certified Coach (MCC), accredited by the International Coach Federation. She is a visionary leader, international speaker, and published author. Fran specializes in providing coaching services for visionary leaders, executives, and business owners, collaborative work teams, as well as coaching and mentoring for experienced coaches.

Recipient of The Lifetime Achievement Award 2012 by the ICF Chapter Washington State, Fran is recognized internationally as one of the pioneers and champions for coaching. She served as a founding International Coach Federation, ICF, Executive Board member, and co-chair of the Ethics and Standards Committee, responsible for developing the Credentialing Programs for aspiring coaches and training schools. Fran was the first Executive Director of the Association for Coach Training Organizations, ACTO. She has been serving ICF as a PCC and MCC Credentialing Assessor since 1998.

www.franfishercoach.com

Posted by: Fran Fisher MCC AT 09:05 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Tuesday, July 16 2019
If You Answer Yes to Any of These 11 Questions, Your Emotional Intelligence Is Better Than You Think

If You Answer Yes to Any of These 11 Questions, Your Emotional Intelligence Is Better Than You Think
Do you seek honest feedback from others?

By Marcel Schwantes Founder and Chief Human Officer, Leadership From the Core@MarcelSchwantes

To prepare for the workplace of the future, workers should start thinking about building up their emotional intelligence now.

According to the World Economic Forum's The Future of Jobs Report 2018, emotional intelligence (EQ) is currently a top 10, in-demand work skill desired by most employers globally (coming in at No. 7).

By 2022, EQ will see a particular increase in demand relative to their current prominence today. However, not everyone is prepared. Research by Development Dimensions International (DDI) found that more than 50 percent of "frontline leaders" fell short in their communication abilities.

While a leader's cognitive ability (IQ) is required for the intellectual traits of the job, EQ paves the way for the communication skills necessary to successfully drive execution and inspire people to better outcomes. And many leaders are not ready.

The future of work is human and relational. And the bigger opportunity for leadership development lies in teaching future leaders that soft-skills are now the real hard-skills required to move forward in the age of machine learning and artificial intelligence.

11 questions to gauge your emotional intelligence.
Whether you're a front-line worker in a customer-facing role or in any managerial capacity, you may want to know where you stand against the high bar of emotional intelligence.

Answer the questions below to evaluate yourself in relation to eleven chosen behaviors of high emotional intelligence.

1. Empathy. Do you have the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within his or her frame of reference?

2. Self-awareness. Do you seek honest feedback from others in a caring, trusting environment?

3. Curiosity. Are you driven to want to be your best by learning new things, growing, and improving?

4. Focus. When things around going wrong, are you able to differentiate between real problems and distractions in order to stay focused on what really matters?

5. Belief. Do you believe that the people and things in your life are there for a reason--that everything will ultimately work out for good?

6. Optimism.  Do you choose to live each day by having a positive outlook and seeing the glass half-full?

7. Adaptability. Are you able to recognize when to stay the course, and when it's time for a change? In other words, when one strategy is not working, do you evaluate and determine if something else will work?

8. Servant-leadership. Besides focusing on your own success, do you also maintain a strong desire for wanting to see the people around you succeed?

9. Confidence. Are you comfortable with who you are, regardless of whether anyone is stroking your ego?

10. Forgiveness. When others have wronged you, are you able to forgive and forget, and move on?

11. Commitment. Do you keep agreements make a habit of keeping your word--in things big and small?


By Marcel SchwantesFounder and Chief Human Officer, Leadership From the Core@MarcelSchwantes
Originally posted on inc.com
https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/if-you-answer-yes-to-any-of-these-11-questions-your-emotional-intelligence-is-better-than-you-think.html

Posted by: Marcel Schwantes AT 01:24 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email

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