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Powerful Gateways to Reclaiming Personal Power
By Amorah Ross MCC
MMC guest Master Coach 3/26/15 & blogger
Originally posted in Amorah's March 2015 Newsletter Adventures in Awareness
The inter-related themes for March are 'Power' and 'Think Different' - a space of time which invites us all to consciously and courageously examine our relationship with power, especially our own personal power. And as we do so, to notice how that relationship impacts the thoughts we think as well as the decisions and choices we make, especially in light of the turbulent and emotional stories in the news these last few weeks.
In my work as a professional coach and mentor coach, I’ve noticed how when a coach acknowledges the presence of [or the lack of] emotions in a coaching conversation it can often open a doorway to deeper awareness for a client around how they’re using or not using their personal power regarding whatever they're exploring. This awareness is usually not only about how the client is relating to a circumstance or person, but also to how they themselves are being impacted - often invisibly - by that circumstance or person.
More often than not, that impact can be ameliorated by raising the client’s awareness of their personal power levels within any given situation. By inviting a client to stop and examine whatever emotions are present within them, either in the current moment as they talk about it, or in remembering an incident itself, you support their clarity in identifying what’s really driving their reactions. Once that invisible element is surfaced, new perspectives and different choices can emerge more readily, thereby reinforcing sustainable personal power levels.
The good news is, just as Pema Chödron’s quote in the sidebar points out, “Feelings are actually very clear moments that teach us and…[that teacher is] with us wherever we are.” Countless times I’ve heard clients breathe a huge sigh of relief when an emotion they’d been feeling was re-framed into their viewing it as a ‘signal’ or ‘pause button’ to 'teach' themselves to remember they can make a different choice in the face of it.
For example, in a recent coaching conversation, a client named as her desired outcome 'to have a tool to be able to be more authentic' in her conversations with others at work. Time and again as she spoke about this, she used the word ‘struggle’ in conjunction with her fear of what they'd think of her if she did so. As the conversation unfolded, we looked at how ‘struggle’, because she is consistently noticing that particular feeling/emotion in the moment, could be used as a signal or cue for her to pause to check within and see what is being called for regarding authenticity at the time she feels it. That idea allowed her to relax and, rather than avoiding or ignoring the feeling/emotion of 'struggling', view it instead as a clue and make it an ally in being truly herself rather than viewing 'struggling' as a hijacker of her authenticity. She adopted this noticing of 'struggling' as her 'emotional tool' to help her remember to think differently, and reveled in the thought that she doesn't have to remember to bring this particular tool with her - it's already within her.
For too long our society, especially in our workplaces, has shuffled emotions into the realms of 'unacceptable, 'not useful' and/or 'too much to handle'. One of the ways I've reclaimed more of my personal power is that I've learned to value, honor and learn from my emotions, providing me with ever-mounting 'evidence' of the impact on myself and others of having done so. As a result, I believe it's now time to restore the natural balance between logic and emotion, within us and between us as human beings, in order to enrich all that life has to offer - I find that a deliciously freeing thought - how about you?
Until next time, I leave you with an inquiry, of course.
A question for you to ask yourself:
What emotion(s) have you been avoiding lately, and what might it (they) be trying to tell you?
I invite you to consider this question and, as you do, notice what new awareness emerges from within you. And please remember to have FUN on that awareness adventure into the question, okay?
@Amorah Ross 2015
Amorah's work is to support her clients in bringing their soulful humanity out so that it serves as the guiding light for all that they do. Never again must their humanity get buried or compromised amid the often-conflicting demands of the various roles they inhabit day by day.
Passionate about celebrating human wholeness as our birthright, Amorah is a Transformative Coach for those who choose to show up in their careers and live their lives from their authentic core essence and beyond the limitations of traditional thinking.
Amoráh is an ICF Master Certified Coach, a certified Mentor Coach, and a seasoned coach trainer. A professional coach since 1997 and coach trainer/mentor coach since 1999, Amoráh also serves as an ICF credentialing assessor and on the ICF Global Standards Core Team. She served 3+ years on ICF’s Credentialing and Program Accreditation Committee, and was its Vice-Chair in 2010. Amoráh lives near Seattle with her husband of 45 years and their 2 miniature dachshunds.
Amorah co-authored the book Roadmap to Success: America’s Top Intellectual Minds Map Out Successful Business Strategies, a compilation of articles on strategies & tools for personal and professional success. She has also had published numerous articles on coaching.